How To Make Pot Pizza
Can you imagine a more perfect food than pizza? It has the ability to encompass all the major food groups: grains (crust), fruit (sauce), veggies (toppings), protein (toppings), and dairy (cheese… mmm, cheese). How could you possibly make pizza any better than it already is? Well, envision this: pot pizza.
Yes, that’s right: a self-fulfilling destiny if ever there was one, pot pizza combines two of the best reasons to live and breathe in this ever-changing, highly-confusing, often-upsetting world: weed and pizza.
Since you can’t call up your favorite local pizza chain and have a weed pizza delivered to your doorstep (yet), you’re going to have to make it yourself. Don’t worry: it’s easy enough, and we’re here to walk you through the process.
But Why Though?
There are some obvious answers to this question: 1. To achieve the ultimate couchlock experience. 2. To stimulate your appetite so you can eat all the Girl Scout Cookies you bought outside the dispensary (sneaky, brilliant Girl Scouts!). 3. To see if it’s truly possible to experience too much of a good thing.
This could be us, but… actually, it is us. Wow, we look incredible.
But the one true answer to the question “Why make marijuana pizza?” is “Why the heck not?” It’s 2018, and it’s time we stop holding ourselves back. Take everyone’s favorite food to the next level by turning it into an unexpected edible experience.
But How Though?
Our recipe for pot pizza makes one pie-that-gets-you-high. You’ll need to gather up your wares before you begin. Pro-tip: read through the instructions before you start that way there are no surprises halfway through. You can apply this tip to any set of instructions you undertake in any area of life. You’re welcome.
Pot Pizza Sauce
- 1 can (6 oz) tomato paste
- 1 cup water
- 1/2 cup Canna Oil
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 tbsp dried basil
- 1/2 tbsp dried oregano
- 1/2 tbsp dried rosemary
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp pepper
- 1 prepared pizza dough (store bought—it’s okay to cheat a lil’ bit here. We won’t tell!)
- 1 cup Pot Pizza Sauce
- 1 cup cheese of choice (or more! But not too much more. Think an extra ¼ cup of Parm at the end more, not 2 pounds of raw clothbound cheddar more. Let’s be reasonable for once.)
- Additional toppings as desired
This Is How We Do It
Make the Pot Pizza Sauce by combining all ingredients together in a small saucepan. Bring to a light boil and let the sauce simmer on low for 30 minutes. Stir every now and again.
Remove Pot Pizza Sauce from heat to cool. Once cool, transfer your magic sauce to a mason jar and cover. Chill in the fridge for two hours—a perfect time during which to enjoy some non-edible cannabis, if we do say so ourselves. Make sure to shake the jar of Pot Pizza Sauce occasionally during the chilling period.
After two hours, get your dough ready (even if it is as simple as removing from a plastic sleeve: we want you to be prepared! Make sure you preheat that oven! Do you think this is a game? Pizza is serious business!).
Spread the chilled Pot Pizza Sauce on your dough and cover with cheese. Add extra toppings if you’re feeling fancy (maybe some mushrooms sauteed in cannabutter, perhaps?).
Bake your Pot Pizza according to the non-Pot Pizza directions on the dough’s packaging. This will usually take about 18 minutes, but it could be more… or it could be less. Keep your peepers peeled on the Pot Pizza pie and watch for the golden browning of the cheese. That’s when you know it’s time.
Yes. Hell yes.
If you’re feeling fancy, sprinkle some herb on top before you slice into your beautiful creation. Sure, the crumbled weed won’t do anything, psychoactively speaking, but it sure will make for a sweet Instagram picture. Ston’ appetit, my friends.
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